Brian's fiendish plan to win the Gaming Society's pub crawl

Yes, the Gaming Society's pub crawl is the sort you can win. Have a look at the rules if you are not already familiar with them. Now read on...

Last year Brian won an award for arriving with Burger King crowns already prepared. He didn't win though. This year he has made even more elaborate preparations in order to win. These include:

  1. Choosing his team on the basis of not just capacity for alcohol, but also possession of the sort of things that get you points. Shan, who is going as an Orc, has a shopping trolley at the bottom of his garden, and plans to deliberately throw it in the Kelvin (and fish it out afterwards) so he can get more points that way. Al apparently already has a Holy Grail, the plastic pint off a Guinness tap. Pre-prepared Burger King crowns, of course, go without saying.
  2. Marrying someone in his team so he can get more points for Whoring.
  3. Brian is going as a Troll this year. Trolls have to drink strange-coloured drinks (e.g. blue or green), and gain points for telling the following joke to bar staff: "What's green and comes in pints? Me!" (Easy money) There is a bottle of blue food colouring in our kitchen, that was there when we arrived, and has been sitting pretty close to the rat poison (that happens to also be blue). Brian has convinced the entire Committee that the blue food colouring is so dangerous he should be allowed to use it.
  4. Arriving two and a half hours before the pub crawl starts, so he can get a head start.

    The pub crawl takes place on the 21st November. More news after that.

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    Last updated 6th November 1996
    Page maintained by Sam Kington ( sam@illuminated.co.uk)