It all happened on Friday 8th December, after a hard evening of study - that is to say, 'Not the nine o'clock news', 'Have I got news for you', 'Clive Anderson talks back' and 'Eurotrash'. Brian went to get his washing, only to discover that someone had taken his washing out of the dryer, still wet, when there was another dryer free with the door open. Brian wrote them a letter (not that funny though).
Given that Brian's underwear was in the wash, he now had to find something to do for at least an hour. It was then we remembered what our neighbour, Dawn Williams, had done to the door. She had stuck paper chains on it.
Three paper chains, in fact, a red one, a blue one, and a green one with a single silver link in the centre. Not tacky per se, but definately not suitable to a student flat, especially as they were the only decorations in the place. Dawn definately deserved punishment for that, and we were the ones to give it to her. We thought of moving the paper chains around, or adding our own, but dismissed that as being too silly. Then we remembered Victor Foo.
Victor Foo used to live in 12 Southpark Terrace, but has since moved on. No-one told the postman, however, and by December the pile of mail for Victor Foo had reached gargantuan proportions. It's galling to check the mailbox, find a huge amount of mail, jump for joy hoping that some of it is going to be for you, and find out that it's all for bloody Victor Foo; we decided that Victor Foo was also overdue punishment.
The conclusion was simple: write Merry Christmas on the hallway wall with Victor Foo's mail, our contribution to the block's Christmas decorations.
The first major problem was that, however much mail Victor Foo had received in the last six months, it wasn't actually enough to write 'Merry Xmas'. That wasn't an unsurmountable problem, however, because there were plenty of other more-or-less Asian-type people with loads of mail who didn't live here anymore, and with their mail as well, we had enough. The second, and more serious, problem was that we didn't have enough blu-tack to actually stick all this mail on the wall.
It's at times like this that you appreciate the benefits of living in a busy city. Namely, that there are shops still open at a quarter past two on a Saturday morning (Goodies in Great Western Road in our case). And that they sell blu-tack. We went out, got the blu-tack, stuck Victor Foo's mail on the wall, Brian got his washing, and we finally went to bed with the knowledge of a job well done.
Reactions have been mixed. Dawn said she liked our decoration, and people (who have not come forward) have been adding mail to it. But I don't actually think Dawn has got the point. She's started colouring it in.
Last updated 11th December 1995
Page maintained by Sam Kington
(
sam@illuminated.co.uk)