Shaun is the spawn of Satan

Shaun is widely believed to be the spawn of Satan (or rather, his flatmates believe he is and they should know). If you can think of other reasons why Shaun might be (or not be, for that matter) the Spawn of Satan, please mail me

The case for

• Leaves the lights on all the time
• Turns the heating on
• Flushes the toilet before using it, rather than afterwards (annoying room-mate trick number 96, almost)
• Has The Best Rock Album in the World...ever, and maintains that the existence of The Best Rock Album in the World...ever 2 is perfectly reasonable. Has since bought The Best Ballads Album in the World...ever - need I say more?
• Doesn't wash up his stuff
• The oven chips
• Leaves his stuff in other people's rooms
• Doesn't come to GUGS
• Taints other people's music
• Drops my towel on the floor
• Doesn't buy milk
• Steals Irn Bru bottles
• Sacrifices virgins every Saturday (a waste of perfectly good virgins)
• Is a wuss
• Believes in the flat ghost
• Has the most tasteless and loud shirts known to mankind
• Chat-up line: "Girls, I'm really really drunk, does anyone want to take advantage of me?"
• Doesn't know who Oscar Wilde is
• Leaves CDs recorded-side-down, on the bottom of a pile of CDs, on a dusty surface
• Wore an "I am 18" badge from a birthday card after claiming he had sufficient taste never to wear one
• Moves clocks around
• Believes that Jewish women are circumcised by having their clitoris cut off.
• Has an extremely sad user name on grelb (aragorn)
• Forgets his keys and buzzes the doorbell at 2:30 in the morning
• Is a philistine

The case against

• The spawn of Satan wouldn't have the Chronicles of Narnia in his bookcase
• Proxies are the spawn of Satan. There can't be two of them. (Unless Shaun is, among other things, a big SGI workstation sitting in Lancaster somewhere. This would explain a lot of things.)
  (On the other hand, if there can be more than one The Best Rock Album In The World... Ever, surely there can be several spawns of Satan. Thanks to Jeremy 'MacMan' Morris, maintainer of the 500 ways to annoy your room-mate list, for this suggestion.)
• Pays the rent
• Has small feet (circumstancial evidence only)
• Isn't Mark Englefield

Shaun. We love him really.

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Last updated 11th March 1997
Page maintained by Sam Kington ( sam@illuminated.co.uk)