How do we explain the church burning down?

A Hambridge & Fivehead Cryptozoological Society debate

In the course of their demon-hunting activites, the members of the Hambridge & Fivehead Cryptozoological Society were forced to burn down the church of Broughton-upon-Sea, as well as its assembled congregation, to prevent the devilish slugs in the congregation's head from propagating evil. Actively hunting down would-be escapees, a task that involved, among other things, shooting choirboys in the back of the head as they were running away, was a duty that the members of the Society were also forced to take upon themselves. Shortly afterwards their (hasty) departure from Broughton-upon-Sea, the following exchange took place.

The following abbreviations have been used, in order of appearance:

AGPSIV Dr A Gilmore Pitcairn-Strangechilde IV Swiss doctor, very tall, demon in his head probably gone by now.
AKP Alexander Kenneth Persicue English landed gentry, retired Captain, gammy leg.
CEF Charles E Flitworth Furtive schoolteacher, often frightened, throws explosives.
SOS Simon O Stoatley Extradimensional sleuth, impatient, sings himself (badly) to sleep.
HPWC Dr Hieronymous Percival Wilbur Cadwalliter Mad botanist, shoots lots of guns, drug-addicted.

Hereafter follows a list of the various missives, memoranda and insults traded in the course of this discussion.

The following members of the Hambridge & Fivehead Cryptozoological Society did not take part in this discussion:

Jim Tremaine Gardener, strapping, rustic
Miss Agnes Fairberry Frail, obsessively neat, still a spinster
Mrs Candida Cadwalliter Formidable busoms, intimidating, mad old trout

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Page last updated: 16th March